Tag Archives: Kundalini

Very soon….

Hey everyone! :D

I’ve been away from Blogger for a while…but trust and believe, I’m definitely living life! I’m getting myself together, working and moving and shaking, and I’ve even posted something new on my wordpress sister site for Fight Dis-ease! dorightforyourself.wordpress.com

However, I’m not here to talk about my accomplishments. I’m here to talk about what I’m about to do – to this site and with this blog.

I still need to update this site. I need to get my blogroll page together and as you can see, I have a lot of blogs to double check and update. ;) Not only that but I then need to make sure that this blog has everything that I need to finally be solid. I’m going to keep the main page but also add a Yoga page so that I can freely discuss other aspects of Yoga that I’m dealing with.

The first post on this page that I will discuss is Kundalini. I have already talked about chakras and I will continue to do so, however, I have had many conversations about Kundalini, within the past couple of weeks. It’s about time that I address it and give you my theories and journeys towards this sacred balance of masculine and feminine and all that entails (at least in regards to Kundalini).

So sit tight, keep going to dorightforyourself.wordpress.com for other posts and updates and I’ll definitely holla at you soon. Just to make sure I’m going to get this done on this site, I’m going to start it on my wordpress site. Please send me feedback when it’s done.

Until next time…stay strong, stay healthy, and fight dis-ease! (l)

Random Thoughts XVI: A little something for Yoga Teachers in Training.

I wrote this on my Twitwall today, for a couple of YTT (Yoga Teacher Trainers) this morning. I liked it so much that I decided to share it with all of you. Just a little something for people to understand what goes on when you learn how to teach Yoga. You will realize that unlike other schools of learning, when you learn how to teach Yoga, you will come to realize that you are the teacher and the student at the same time. Enjoy this amazing phenomenon. (and besides…I feel really bad not being able to post anything this week…2 jobs will do that to you )

When I was in Yoga Teacher Training, I learned about all these new and wonderous things that amazed me and terrified me at the same time: chakra, kundalini, tantra, etc.

My teachers would talk about these things, especially in relation to the Yoga Sutras. Before going any further, they would always say, “this is NOT for your future students.” I would look at them like, “why not? this is great for anyone to learn!” Going deeper into my Teacher Training, I understood why.

Learning about chakras, etc. is for your use because you are no longer at a Beginner Level when you do teacher training. However, unless you’re doing a 500 hr. TT, your “demographic” is going to be true beginners – people who don’t even want to do asana, much less learn about chakras and kundalini. I guarantee you that if you introduce chakras to someone who knows nothing about Tadasana, they will leave faster than they came in, before you can finish the last “a” in the word chakra.

Then why learn about them then? This was one of the many smart mouth questions that my ego asked inside but my heart knew not to speak out loud.

When you teach, you are providing a service, whether you get paid or not. You are sharing a part of yourself with your students. Teaching classes (even teaching one class) a day can take a lot out of you mentally and emotionally (physically too, if you’re teaching more challenging Hatha Yoga styles). Everytime you teach, a bit of prana leaves you and permeates throughout the class, into their bodies.

Learning about chakras, kundalini and the like is a way for you to replenish your prana and conserve it for these times when it is released. You can share and share and share but what happens when you’re drained or burned out and you have no more to share? You can’t teach nor learn anything.

So it’s great to learn new things but at this point in time, you have to separate yourself. You are now the teacher and the student. You are the beginner and the intermediate. You must remember that you are going to teach those who may know nothing. As you teach, you also have to remember that you are a student too (because you learn about your students from each class). :d

Balance is the key and so is pranayama. Teach a student pranayama properly and their knowledge of the chakras, kundalini, tantra and whatever else will come with ease. Soon, you won’t have to tell them anything. They will come to you, asking feverishly for the knowledge you can’t wait to impart.

Jai TTs! Om Shanti.

Until next time…stay strong, stay healthy, and fight dis-ease!

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Random Thoughts VIII: Chakras 1 and 2

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This random thought is not one of full explanation. There are going to be many terms and concepts you may not understand. The purpose of this random thought is to share what I experienced in Yoga Teacher Training the other day. For more information about chakras, please click here.

On Monday, we learned more about chakras and Kundalini in Yoga Teacher Training. I will let you in on something…I used to be very afraid of Kundalini Yoga and playing with my chakras.The reason was simple: my head would hurt anytime I would try to read books on Kundalini. I have passed Kundalini classes at Yoga conferences and my body would twitch and start to burn in certain areas. I know it’s weird. I couldn’t explain why and didn’t try to…to me, that was a sign to leave it alone.

Since Yoga Teacher Training, I have become more comfortable with the concept of Kundalini and the chakras. I even finished that book that used to make my head hurt everytime I read it. I became so comfortable, that I started to play with clearing my chakras so that the Kundalini energy can start to flow freely within me.

This is the symbol for the root chakra, called Muladhara. Once I found my muladhara bandha, I would activate it with the breath. Tadasana would keep me grounded but I would actually feel grounded once I would activate this bandha.

Chakra 1 deals with guilt and anger. It also deals with feelings of being rejected/abandoned in childhood.

As we went through class, my instructor asked us to do Sun Salutations to have a better understanding of our chakras through asana. He came over and corrected me on my downward facing dog.

Now downward facing dog is one of my favorite poses. However, I cannot hold it for too long. I either get embarassed or I get angry. I never told anyone this and kept it to myself because I didn’t understand the feeling and why it was there.

During our break, I asked my teacher what was wrong with my down dog. He explained that I hyperextend my back (meaning that my chest goes too low and it bends downwards too far) and because of the massive opening of my chest, I either feel too vulnerable or I would get angry.

How in the hell did he know?!

He walked me through the proper positioning of my chest and further explained what is going on….with me! I never told him any of this stuff but here he is, telling me my life story from one pose! Tears started to stream down my eyes. Before I went to him to inquire about my pose, I was very angry. I was angry that I felt like a loner in my class. Like my peers ignore me while connecting with each other. It’s not only YTT that makes me feel that way. I usually feel that way in any situation, with most people from time to time. I didn’t know why, and for the most part, I would ignore the feeling or just chalk it up to being an asshole in a past life.

Do not repress your feelings.

My instructor said this to me as I was fighting back the tears. In the past, I would repress and repress. Because of this, when I would get angry, I would blow up like there is no tomorrow. Now, I found myself frustrrated at this “delayed emotional response” that I’ve been having when faced with issues that calls for certain emotions to be evoked – anger, guilt, fear, passion.

As I went back to my seat and finished class, the tears continued to flow. I didn’t fight them nor did I try to analyze them. I was just happy to finally understand something about myself. Like why I always feel this way when I do downward facing dog.

This is the symbol for the 2nd Chakra, the Swadhisthana Chakra. I have a feeling that this chakra is located in the same spot as the Tan T’ien, an area of the abdomen where you breathe from in Tai Chi. When my teacher would correct me on downward facing dog, he would also tell me to engage my abdomen. Not the upper part, but the lower part – in my tan t’ien area.

Chakra 2 deals with sexuality/sensuality (how do we use it?). It also deals with relationships/feelings (mostly one-on-one relationships) and affects the need for position in society, the need to control other people and acceptance.

The first three chakras apparently deals with human emotions. When you talk about “going with your gut” or anything with intuition, you’re usually within the realm of the 2nd Chakra.

I no longer have a problem with my sexuality or my sensuality. When I talk about these things, I do not mean my sexual orientation. That has never been questioned. I always had a problem with accepting my femininity. I had a bad childhood and all of these factors played a critical role in my tomboy years. I always knew I was a girl. I just didn’t like it. I didn’t want to be a girl. I felt like my reproductive organs were a curse and not a blessing. Menstruation was the worst for me…and back then, if I could throw away my feminine energy, I would in a heartbeat.

Flower Essences have helped with that. I am a much softer and gentle feminine creature. I love being a woman and no longer have physical issues with sexual intercourse (I know, TMI…but it needs to be said). I still have problems with my menstrual cycle but compared to 5 years ago, the symptoms I have seem really minor and totally treatable.

So what is my issue then?

Before class was over, I moved from the muladhara bandha to my tan t’ien. I would engage my abdomen and breathe into this area. I haven’t done this in a long time. After class was over, visions came into my mind and opened up a door of sorts. I was in the locker room crying. A classmate of mine came over to console me and I told her that I just had a breakthrough:

When I was very young, I had some “girl friends.” Everyday, they would play with me for about an hour and then the next thing you know, they would tell me that they’re not my friend anymore. They would berate me and make fun of me and right before I start to fight them, they would say, “we’re only playing” and play with me again. This would happen at least 4 times a day for many months.

One day, I came home crying. My mom asked me what was wrong and I told her. She told me that the next time they do that to me, tell them “I don’t care” and leave. Go and play by yourself and that would never happen again. She was right too. After I did that, the girls kept playing with me and never did that to me again.

However, it left a samskara in my mind (samskara is an impression left in the mind. The ‘total of these impressions becomes the tremendous force which is called “character.”’ I realized that because of this experience, I would never feel accepted by anyone. Any little thing – people connecting with each other more than they do with me, a glance, something you said or the tone with which you said it – would make me feel like you don’t like me and this scenario would come into my subconscious. My conscious would put the face of whoever is present onto the bodies of those little girls and I would feel like a 6 year old child again. Scared of the pain of rejection and not being accepted when I did nothing wrong. (Folks, my ego loves playing the victim…bear with me). 

What does this have to do with the Chakras, See?

Well, I came to the realization that my breakthrough is a purge. As I understood certain aspects of my root chakra in regards to asana, it opened up the door for me to free up my Swadhisthana Chakra. I finally was able to see a fear, face it and let it go…at least for a moment.

Now does this mean that I will never feel this way again? Nope. I may feel this way a number of times before it is truly purged from me. But this awareness is key for me to properly heal. Now all I need to do is be mindful of it. If I start to feel like I am abandoned or not accepted by my peers for whatever reason, I can always say, “this is based on my samskara and now I must release it.”

Release is not an immediate thing. Sometimes it can take a long time to release. Here are some tips to release whatever you are holding onto (emotionally and mentally):

  • Recognize your fears and emotions
  • acknowlege them
  • be compassionate – with yourself and with others
  • Forgive. Forgive yourself first and then you can forgive others.

If you try these things and you find that you are still having trouble letting go and moving forward with life, then do not be afraid to seek professional help. A therapist or a counselor or a psychiatrist can aid you in letting go of memories and emotions so that you can be more productive with life.

I don’t need a psychiatrist to help me with my issues. I’ve been crazy for too long and am doing very well with figuring out things and healing myself. Continuing my Yoga practice and strengthening it by doing more Grounding Poses (such as Tadasana and the Warrior Series) as well as seated poses and forward bends (such as Janusirshasana and Pachimotanasana) will benefit me. Look at what it’s doing for me already!!

If you feel like a Hatha Yoga practice will also be good for you to calm the mind and heal you, then do not forget to include meditation, chanting and pranayama in your practice (a Yogic diet also helps). A well balanced practice leads to a well balanced mind.

Thanks for letting me open my heart and share. Until next time…

stay strong, stay healthy, and fight dis-ease!